was i sexually abused quiz

Ive always been afraid of sex till I started having sex with a good partner. I remember falling asleep in my bed, but waking up downstairs, curled up on the sofa. She should be reported. The person who I think did isnt in my life but is the father of a younger sibling. The most important thing you can do is work to shift your focus from what happened to how can I take care of myself and heal in the here and now, regardless of what happened. Wed highly recommend you seek support over this. Unwanted sexual experiences happen to about 1 in 4 children minimum. I could not remember from where or when, but I knew I had. The best thing would be if you could work with a counsellor with experience of young people worried about or who have experienced abuse. Hi. I always feel so alone, Im a very manipulatible person, I always feel like no one ever loves me. After writing this it sounds like abuse but I still feel like its not that big of a deal and I should just forget about it. I was terrified of even saying its a possibility. My dating history Ive seemed to attract verbally or emotionally abusive individuals where Ive been constantly berated or treated poorly, never wanting to end the relationship because I didnt want to be alone, relationships that have ended Ive begged for second chances and slipped into depression where Ive stayed alone in my apt choosing not to go out and get my mind off of things, instead opting to wrap myself in my depression like a blanket and cut people further out my life. I remember growing up, whenever I was told to give an adult a hug, whether it was male or female, I felt intense anxiety; like I had a pit in my stomach. Im scared i will lose myself wont be able to or want to function. I cant even be honest about my name or personal details because everything makes me feel dirty. All I can say is that it involved my father and it has been seriously bothering me. If you do a google of shoplifting mental health you can get a clearer idea. You are suffering. This quiz will help you recognize behaviors that indicate serious trouble in your relationship that may be improved with therapy. If your mother is worried and concerned enough to suggest therapy for you, then one would imagine she would be more concerned you are ok then hurt by your childhood experiences, but we are simply unable to say as we dont know her or you and how you communicate. I dont know how I began doing it but I do know that my girl cousin used to do it too at that age. (5 years). From a very young age I remember being very sexually aware. I also remember one kid from my neighborhood pretending he was having sex with me and I was trying to escape. Best, HT. Id really appreciate any kind of help. We wish you courage. The guy was the same age as us, and he would make me do these things through the entire time we were together. Most schools offer free or very low cost counselling, please see what your school offers and dont be afraid to go and use the service. At the time I was scared to tell my mom since he was a relative. I avoided any possible situation like that and although it never happened again I could see that he had told all his friends they would stare at me. I knew it was always there in the back of my head but I would ignore it because well I dont know why. I dnot know anything for certain and feel as though i may be grasping at straws, creating a narrative that makes sense. When I started to bring it up in therapy, it was seen as another manifestation of my mental illness. 1 / 12. I became so paranoid that this was a flashback and in a way it was but Im not sure its accurate. A year or some later, the same firend and I were on the beach, where we were jumping in the water and playing. But also, when I was 8 or 9, my stepbrother used to touch me in a way that was extremely inappropriate. We will never understand why. I remember him making me do things to him but I feel like I may not remember the whole thing. I dont have good memories from before age 6. Mon, please do read our responses to others above. I always assumed it was natural for a child to forget, but Ive come to realize my own memory is way too fragmented. I just want to know why and its killing me. So is it time to gather up all your courage and finally reach out for that help? Best, HT. Im in a relationship with a girl and I really do love her so much. First I developed an enormous fear of sex, then porn addiction, then the need to please my partners more than myselfand its only now, in my 30s that Im finally learning to surrender to my loving, sex-positive and respectful husband, who not only thinks sex is a beautiful and natural thing, but he is very attentive to both mine and his needs. This was freshman year I was 14. Where are you right now, in this exact moment? We dont offer these therapies and they are not evidence based so we cant say anything about them, but its up to you to find what works for you personally. hi, im 19 years old and im starting to suspect that i might have been sexually abused by my father. Something else that in hindsight is odd, I have quite disordered eating where I often starve myself with the wish to look like a child, I literally want to look like a twelve year old. I didnt have any knowledge in the time. I would put myself in sexual situations with men even when I didnt necessarily want sex. today im 25 years old and i have no answer about my past or why i did these things . I am in no doubt whilst I dont have complete memories (remember the beginning of each incident the first touch but dont remember it stopping them leaving). For a while I have assumed that I was molested or abused as an infant. I have a uncle who was acting really odd at thanksgiving this year. That said, we cant tell you if it happened or not. All of these experiences are traumatic and there are resources available to anyone who experiences these other forms of sexual assault, including RAINN and the organization metoo. I would do that everywhere I wanted, could in front of everyone. All we can do is seek support to help with our symptoms, our anxiety and harming, which you have. Saturday & Sunday 9am-5pm, Harley Street I really feel Im not gonna be able to move on in life until I release memories and continue going to counceling and work out my issues. This still makes me so sad, and there is nobody around here I can talk to about it. What matters is to get help for symptoms. When I super young (cant rememver ages) everytime he would get mad hed pull my pants down and spank me a lot of times. I know Im not alone in these feelings, but being a 34 year old virgin these days makes me feel like a freak. Cut yourself some slack. I m obsessing over the fact that something terrible might have happened to me that i am not even aware of. My mom gets mad at me because I feel uncomfortable changing in front of her. I said I dont know how and I have never done it before I was hoping that he would then leave me. We become the adults we are because of a strange collision of the personality we are born with and our unique reactions to the experiences and traumas we faced. but i have an amazing mom and i love her so much. Although its common to assume it must be a father figure, that is not necessarily true, although it is a strange thing you recount. At the end of freshman year I moved to a new city and he went to the same city to attend college. I stayed with her for three years. And he forced me to do but I didnt . Its nothing to do with you, not remotely your fault, and it doesnt make you weird. When i search for the memories from this time it is very difficult to remember and almost painful or confusing. My uncle also lived with from the time he was a child, him being also bused by my father. But all this overthinking is just the minds way to distract itself from deep emotional pain. I make impulsive sexual decisions that I regret immediately. Theres a counselor at school but they have to notify my parents if they think somethings really wrong and i dont feel comfortable with them knowing really. that is what they are there for. Its exactly the sort of thing seeing a therapist is for. Understanding your relationship requires taking a closer look at daily interaction with your partner and the way you feel about it. emotionally i had been yes.. but she asked sexually. It feels like I cant move on until I know for sure. For e.g. Hi Brit. From a very young age, Ive been interested in sex and known more than I should have. I was moody and got angry very easily and very self-conscious. Are you Sexually Abused Quiz Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. Well it sounds like you already know what is right for you so by all means go with that. This must have left you feeling so horribly ashamed and abandoned right at a time you needed to be reassured and supported. For a long time I thought I forgot what happened and that I succeeded dealing with all the negative feeling I passed through, but unfortunately, in the last 5 years I occasionally feel so depressed and so angry, I feel emptiness and guilt and start having flashback from that day. And your brain processes experiences in its own unique way. Definition of sexual abuse from 1974 Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (amended in 1992) Click the card to flip . I dont like porn with penises (or genitals in general) in them, etc. On a good note, we can tell you that your symptoms are highly treatable, and a good counsellor or psychotherapist could help you manage them and feel more confident. If you were raised in a dysfunctional or abusive home, there are certain abusive behaviors from your parents and/or siblings that you may have normalized in your mind in order to survive in the situation you were in at the time. Im otherwise very attracted to him, so its not like Im a lesbian (although sometimes I am scared/grossed out by penesis enough to think I might be gay) Also, Ive had dreams of childhood sexual abuse (specifically oral), and I have a really big dental phobia and strong gag reflex. Hes a father and an adult. What we hear here is a whole lot of trauma, and a girl who never got the love, assurance, attention and safety she needed and deserved as a child and now walks through life as a woman feeling unsafe and unliked all the time. I was about 12. We cant jump to conclusions about being abused. Wed say what now is seek support about this. As for the rest of it, we would just say that seeing porn as a child, an adult letting a child see porn, is itself enough of a line crossed to give you issues as an adult. My maternal grandparents NEVER had me alone, never babysat etc. Child sexual abuse is defined as "any sexual act with a child performed by an adult or an older child." I do not have contact with him anymore, however, I remember how he would always want me around him and never wanted me to be alone with my Dad. As youll see in other comments in this thread, its not about what actually happened, its about if you are suffering or not. If you dont feel like their feedback works for you, you need to say so and go deeper. This multiple choice quiz functions as a supplemental piece to the resource, Your Consent Guide. I actually once passed out, and another time cried when I was on the brink of orgasming. As a child I always have a foggy memory about being abused I mean how could a child know about these kinds of things at the time Growing up I started fetishizing submissive and rape relationships and I even build caracters in my brain who are in a submissive relationship I HATE sex and i dont want to think of being held but as a child I remember often doing things to myself I dont have any traumatic feelings when I see that person in real life now and I dont remember it hurting or anyhting back then Im so confused .. how do I know if I was abused or if it was nothing ? I understand that these are very real but I dont have any of the symptoms of being abused. Is Your Cat A Psychopath? We are not jumping to any conclusions over the root cause, each person is unique, and there are many things that a child can experience that can lead to this lack of boundaries, a big event, or just a series of small events that together diminished your self-esteem. So we think this situation is far more complicated than just the actual sexual touching amongst children. I remember even when I was in my early twenties, showering was difficult because Id never allow my face to get wet. You may have been sexually assaulted. Are you still in therapy? Im a young adult now. I thought I overcame and that Ive moved on. You have experienced trauma. And that the Christian community puts a big onus on forgiveness. Mental health issues affect everything we do. Toddlers and young kids often touch and play with themselves, its normal, girls often rub their legs together as a form of self soothing as a child. Some people are just naturally asexual, or demisexual, or develop attraction for others far later in life. I remember being about 5 or 6 years old and having a high sex drive without even knowing what it meant. The scratching sounds like severe anxiety bordering on self-harm. Im 19 I would say Ive surpressed the memories rather than them being repressive I really dont know. I also remember times where when I was around 7-8 years old toys would be put in my underwear-it was never shoved up but it always felt uncomfortable. The main bulk off therapy was with a Transactional Analysis Therapist took me a long time to open up have dealt with family friend and my best friend dad. Ive just always had this irrational fear that he would burn idk maybe Im being paranoid. And try to find a healthy way to vent your anger so that is doesnt push away those you love, as you need their support now, not to push them away. You see the only way to get rid of rage, fury, and hatred, is to first acknowledge it. Raise this subject with your therapist and talk it through. I panic whenever my boyfriend and i are getting intimate, especially when he fingers me. https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/what-is-child-sexual-abuse-why-your-definition-might-need-updating.htm. The next day I remeber my mom asking did you dad touch you and then I heard my mom asking over and over, I kept saying no but finally I said he didnt really touch me he just had his hands in my pants and I tried moving away. Hi Beth, as the article and the responses to other comments discuss, unless someone develops a time machine, a large number of us will never know clear answers. Otherwise, there are free helplines for young people in both the UK and the US if you feel you really want to just have a chat. Its hard to explain what I feel and what goes through my head. My parents arent even alive anymore yet I feel if I try to talk Ill be punished. Its okay to have a panic attack trying with your counsellor. Is that more realistic? ive had bulimia for 4 years about and its been hard getting over it i just cant get myself to. You say you were diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Im worried that this could be some sort of sexual abuse thing, but Im not sure. It would be a good idea to get some support on this by yourself, not in couples therapy. I remember moving away so that He wouldnt think I still liked him, he pulled me close to him and hugged me, I thought this meant he liked me back. Im searching for tests I can take, or maybe even people to talk to so I can confirm or deny my suspicions. My main concern is that I have this horrible feeling that comes up when I am exposed to imagery of genitalia, especially in a medical context. my heart dropped and it felt like i couldnt move. Seek a therapist who has experience with abuse, and read our articles on how to choose the right therapist for you. A naughty chair is a term used by some parents just to mean a chair a child takes a time out in if they have been disobedient. When she returned she told authoritys it was a monster under her bed. I always want to please him and I dont know why. But you are also a man with choices and free will. Or insist that you be allowed to see a counsellor? When a child is shamed, they can be drawn to do the shameful behaviour as if to prove to themselves they are bad as they were told. I dont know what to do about any of it. I have intense fears of random people and places for reasons i dont understand! If you have zero budget, then yes, you can talk to your GP. A child, in most country, needs the permission of his legal guardian to attend therapy. Our relationship was a very odd one. Or you can book private therapy which isnt always expensive, we have a booking site with some therapists that are low cost. Being me makes me feel sick. But do find the solution that works for you, we arent doing a sell here, what matters is that you find some support! They can even arise as a response to strict upbringings, like a from of rebellion. They volunteer their time for free just to help people. A. As a teenager there was only one guy he was 20, I was 16 that I got close to. direct physical force, a threat of force, coercion, or somehow taken advantage of). Jane, theres a lot going on here. Suspect you were sexually abused as a child? I know they wont do anything to me but I still get paranoid and scared when I am close to them. If so, gather up your courage and go elsewhere. i was rape by a cousin of mine it was really painful and i was also rape at the age of 10 this time i was rape by an older man we had mutual relationship with my family. His twin brother was my older brothers best friend and our mothers were very close so naturally I was around at their house a lot. But glad you have been speaking to a counsellor. If so, seek counselling. What long term effect does it have the child mind and what can be done to prevent any further damage. Nowadays you can even speak to counsellors over the internet or by phone so if you feel nervous to talk to someone in your community because you can talk to a counsellor who even lives in a different country. At some point, he was swimming behind me and I felt my panties slipping down, him watching me directly into my eyes. Thank you for sharing Norea. And that the dread and shame and guilt I have been feeling all my life was because of I am a 16 year old girl and theres something that have bothered me for quite a while now. Founded in 2006, we are an award-winning group connecting you to highly experienced therapists in our London rooms and online worldwide. You need sustained support from a counsellor or therapist you can trust. What wed say here is that it is obvious that you are struggling with very real issues. As youll see in the other comments, sadly, when trauma happens, we all tend to have spotty memories. When its hard. The damage done by bad therapy cant be compared to a bad date at all its an experience of finding even the professionals wont believe that you or treat you like youre just crazy for trying to talk about whats actually happened. i also have rape fantasies, which scares me so much, because if i was molested thatd basically mean that i enjoyed it? its been 11 years and only about four years ago I remembered this memory but I never did before so Im not sure if its all in my head or if this is real. Something went wrong while submitting the form. But your therapist wont feel any of this is bad, because, quite simply, none of it is. I couldnt bare for my mother to think I was a freak, I still cant. I guess because he assumed I would say something to him since he wasnt his Dad. And you shouldnt feel ashamed as just about every woman has, unfortunately, had an unwanted sexual experience at some point.And its completely normal to be upset about it. Although before him i used to be attracted to people who would eventually emotionally abuse me. And my brother obviously witnessed something or Idk cuz he was acting out also. Do you find it extremely difficult to trust any person of the opposite gender? It makes me cringe a lot, it really goes through me. The kid have been convinced that he was molested and that his father did it to him. And you say so much therapy. Also that its normal for a child to feel guilty and like it is. 3. In comparison to other Christian kids, I was educated, but not as nearly as much as I should have been. We are really glad to hear it. i have absolutely no memory of ever being molested or anything, but im starting to have my doubts. I need help in figuring this out please reply. Or just memory loss? Abusers wont hear that and will carry on not giving a care in the world what it has done to the person they have just abused. I am 14 years old and I am very confused hahah. My father, to this day goes on trips to Disneyland once every two years or more with an old buddy of his. London Bridge. ) I feel like in my past Ive heard this story before, but this time I think it really sank in, and I realized what couldve actually happened to me. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. She never bought medicine or got me real help. I have never had a steady relationship with a guy even though I am attracted to men. Hi, I stumbled upon your page when I actually searched the internet for clues on understanding why Ive been walking around with this feeling that something is off about my childhood that I just cannot figure out. It does sound like you have all the symptoms of someone who experienced abuse. Our brains are designed to survive, not destruct, so if we end up with a desire to be hurt their is room to debate we have a negative coping mechanism that might arise from an experience our brain felt was traumatic. If your brain felt there was a threat, and you now suffer symptoms, then for you, there was, and its very important to take care of yourself. Maybe there is a reason I cant remember what happened. I am torn. Finally, note that if there was any chance you were aware as a child something was happening to your sister, or witnessed anything, that too can be traumatic for a child and create symptoms. I vaguely remember him yelling at me to make me cry. If a child has no memory of ever being molested and are being told that they were do you think they have been abused. These things alone can cause depression, anxiety, and identity issues. The most recent time I saw him was only a few months ago, and my brother got drunk and passed out so it was just me and him. But I also resent him. Make sure to reach out to an empathic loved one or a professional to get the help that you deserve. What is important is to shift your attention to getting help with symptoms, which you are doing, which is great. And I dont really care about being in his life TBH, even though I feel guilty about it sometimes because like I said he was the father I didnt have. But later never came. I also think its because I havent seen the female that was doing those sexual things to me between the ages of around 7-14 in months and I guess my brain has now decided its okay to suddenly have the memories resurface.Now I cant stop thinking about it. Although I did feel the need to hurt her and my dad, badly, I decided it is better to forgive, for they themselves were very poorly educated about it all.
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