Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Did we forget any popular Texas idioms and sayings? The day you were born was the best day of my life. Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. Back then the Panhandle had a panhandle. He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the crematorium. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. I know that you'll attain more this year dear. Happy birthday. Quick Facts FULL NAME: Barbara Jordan BORN: February 21, 1936 DIED: January 17, 1996 HOMETOWN: Houston, Texas ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Pisces Early Life A groundbreaking African American politician,. Texas is a state of mind. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! Happy Birthday to you! What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? - William Barclay You work so hard and give so much to others. -Davy Crockett, Thats why I like Texans so much. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. Download high quality Texas clip art graphics. You don't want to mess with a Texan who's throwing a hissy fit. Yay, you're here! )Dont get all het up about it.Theres a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree.Theres no tree but bears some fruit.Skin your own buffalo.You better throw a sop to the dogs.Dont squat on your spurs.Any mules tail can catch cockleburs.A drought usually ends with a flood.If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.A lean dog runs fast.The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. hapy birthday happy birthday. Who are these people, these Texans? On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. What do they tell us about America? The 80 Cute quotes for her; The 60 Best Get Well Soon Quotes For Him or Her. Now on to the dark side you will also find several Texas quotes mocking the state and its icons. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! Want to plan your Texas road trip in a few easy steps? -Ninfa Laurenzo. Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. So crooked that if he swallowed a nail, hed spit up a corkscrew. Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. And there's an opening convey of generalities. Wishing you a texas sized birthday. Always drink upstream from the herd. Hope your birthday cake is as sweet as you! Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. Looks like shes been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.She looks like chewed twine.He looks like Bowsers bone.I was born tired and Ive since suffered a relapse.One wheel down and the axle dragging.Im near about past going. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? George Meredith on counting your years. May your birthday overflow with downy teddy bears, the comfiest blankets and the loveliest cake ever. Happy Birthday. (Say what? He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. Yippee your birthday is finally here. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. Lets not preach to the choir. 3. Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. The Lone Star State is a unique place. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. -Sam Houston, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Make your friends and family chuckle with these sayings, or make them laugh out loud with funny 60th birthday quotes.Witty quotes can also make great slogans for 60th . An amateur historian and travel enthusiast, I travel around the world full-time visiting historic sites: hidden chapels, Communist monuments, ancient cities, religious relics, national parks, or any place that is beautiful, interesting, or weird. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. "For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." John Glenn "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age." Robert Frost "When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. Now I hope all your wishes come true. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. It moves into you. Manny Fernandez, As a Texan and a country music fan, I didnt learn George Strait songs; I knew them the same way I know English. Jack Ingram, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. Sam Houston, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. It's a better use of salt. They took a great failure and turned it into a tourist destination that makes them millions. It's your birthday! They hung the wrong horse thief. for when something goes wrong. -Larry McMurtry, This is Texas. Create Account; View Cart; Help Plans and Pricing. 6. Let's set a date for cake this week. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen.". Copyright 2021-2023 - Roaming the USA -- All rights reserved | Made with love in the , 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans. Still, we put together a good number of phrases and quotes about Texas for yall. - Jim Gaffigan. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. My current favorite is thePacsafe Citysafe, which is especially great for Texas because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets in Texas cities. It would be an honor to get dismembered by a chainsaw. Don't die a copy." John Mason Quotes to Live By No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. Otherwise, you can follow and tag me on social media so I can see you using them in action: Facebook:Stephanie Craig History Fangirl. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Hes such a liar hed beat you senseless and tell God you fell off a horse.He was born sorry.Hes so low hed steal the widows ax.Hed steal his mamas egg money.Hed steal the flowers off his grandmas grave.Hed steal the nickels off a dead mans eyes.No-account fellow.Bitter as gall.Tough as nickel steak.Tough as stewed skunk.Tough as whang.Mean as a mama wasp.Friendly as a bramble bush.She makes a hornet look cuddly.A she-bear in satin.Rough as a cob.He looks like a sheep-killing dog.He lies like a tombstone.He wouldnt scratch his own mamas fleas.Hes got horns holding up his halo.Were not on borrowing terms.Youre so low you have to look up to see hell.Hes so low you couldnt put a rug under him.He jumped on me with all four feet.A real revolving son of a bitch. May 5 2011 at 4 43 am the best thing to come out of oklahoma is 35 south. 500 matching entries found. So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long. yes, fried chicken is where all the moolahs at! Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. And memories to store. 257 points. They get inspired by them. - By Steven Wright. you got a problem. Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. Bless your heart. Y'all. Happy birthday! "Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with." -Jensen Ackles "In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans." -Kelly Clarkson "Texans ain't Texans if they aren't willing to boast about the state they call home." ~Anon "Texans ignored 'better,' long ago forgot the useless word 'good.' No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, And finally, the last and the best Texas quote yet. (Your flys down. Happy birthday." When Davy Crockett ran for a seat in Congress from Tennessee in 1835, he proclaimed that if he lost, the people in his district "may go to hell and I will go to Texas." An 18th birthday is exciting but your 21st birthday will be even better. The Ultimate Texas Brand Bracket Is Down to Its Elite Eight, Ford or Chevy? Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! In Texas, folks aren't just richlocals say they didn't come to town two to a mule. I have a good friend whos aTexas girl;Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack. (A hangover. -Sissy Spacek, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Happy birthday, friend! Backup Charging Bankfor your cell phone since youll be using it as a camera, GPS system, and general travel genie. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog.As welcome as an outhouse breeze.As welcome as screwworm.As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.As welcome as a wet shoe.As welcome as a tornado on a trail drive. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. Cute and Quirky 60th Birthday Sayings. It means you're no fool. It starts at 5:30 p.m. on Friday night and events are scheduled until 11 p.m. Saturday night. A myriad of only the sweetest birthday quotes that we could find! It may be your birthday, but you are a gift to me. -Katherine Dunn, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legendand a song, and a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. He hangs out more often than Mamas washing.Hes like a blisterhe doesnt show up till the works all done. We share comprehensive travel guides and tips for anyone traveling around America. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. This digitized version has since been updated to remove offensive lines. Markham Shaw Pyle, There are parts of Texas where a fly lives ten thousand years and a man cant die soon enough. Dont mess with Texas. Texas Department of Transportation slogan for a campaign to reduce littering on Texas roadways. Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. Miranda Lambert 0 Copy In Texas we practically come out of the womb in jeans. That is truer than true! Inspiring Birthday Quotes "God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Voltaire "You were born an original. knee walking drunk to tell your friends about that epic night of partying. A family affair! I hope you can continue to celebrate the years on my side. In Texas, if you concentrate and work at it steadily, you can traverse your territory by about age thirty-seven. Famous Birthday Quote William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. Trust us, it's worse than dogs. Happy birthday to my favorite person who's still younger than me! Happy birthday! Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players are all bigger than anywhere else. Pete Hamill, Read next: Incredible Weekend Getaways in Texas, There is a special mystique to Texas. She is part of the Holy Trinity of Trading Post Maximization: Exusiai, Texas, and Lappland. Birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the year to come, they are also a time to celebrate and be thankful for a new year of possibilities and chances and show our loved ones how much we love and care for them. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I. I'm from Texas originally, and I've always wanted to be in a horror movie, so I've gotten both of my wishes with this project. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. Honestly, there are so many funny sayings about Texas that you would get sore as a boil after reading them all. I Had to Fight My Way Up" - Patrick Swayze Long live the dirty dancing Patrick Swayze! He can strut sitting down.Hes all hat and no cattle.Shes all gurgle and no guts.He chamber-of-commerced it. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans." - Billy Clayton Quotes About Texans All joyous things and more. 0 ; Copy I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented because Texans think anything is possible. Only Texas could turn defeat into a legendand a song, and a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. ~Rosemary Kent, speaking of the Alamo. Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. George Meredith. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. 1. There's more to come, be prepared and keep thinking big even as you grow older. Texas yesterday is unbelievable, but no more incredible than Texas today. hapy birthday greetings typography with ornament iilustration. Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, author, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Waco: American Apocalypse Doesnt Even Try. Cant dance, never could sing, and its too wet to plow.I could sit still for that.You cant beat that with a stick. Bernard M. Baruch Here we have compiled happy birthday to me quotes that we thought you might like as you celebrate your special day. 2. Today is the most important day of my life. I wish you a speedy recovery from all that you lost in earlier years. University of Houston history professor Raul Ramos gives his take on 10 of the most important dates leading to the establishment of the Republic of . )Jugging and jawing.Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. God bless you. Dan Solomon writes about politics, music, food, sports, criminal justice, health care, film, and business. He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast. Funny Quotes on Birthday. )Why shear a pig?Dont snap my garters.A guilty fox hunts his own hole.Quit hollering down the rain.Dont rile the wagon master.Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.The barn doors open and the mules trying to run. Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. ". to say youre experienced at something. J Jamie Oakes-Mitchell 33 followers More information Wishing you a Texas sized birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Related Topics. Subscription: Inactive; Credits: 0; View Cart; Help; 900+ Texas Clip Art | Royalty Free. Dream to touch the skies. Enjoy the trip. our birthday is October 26, 1886.) -Molly Ivins, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Hope your year is better than those ears! Hes all hat and no cattle. He's yellow as mustard but without the bite. 800-810-1617 gograph@gograph.com; Login. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. A Camerasince Texas is super photogenic. Beyonce's tracks like 'Baby Boy' and 'Crazy in Love' secured top positions in the 'Billboard Top 100' countdown charts. Happy 70th Birthday! The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Read next: Romantic Weekend Getaways in Texas, Texas does not, like any other region, simply have indigenous dishes. This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. Most Texans know about the references to the Lone Star State size in Texas quotes and sayings. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. -Larry L. King, What do the Texans say? "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm. Want to Buy a West Texas Ghost Town? -Janine Turner, Texas is a state of mind. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. 7. He could talk the legs off a chair. She could start a fight in an empty house.Hed argue with a wooden Indian.She raised hell and stuck a chunk under it.Hes the only hell his mama ever raised.Hes got his tail up.Shes in a horn-tossing mood.Shes so contrary she floats up-stream.Shes dancing in the hog trough.Hell tell you how the cow ate the cabbage. I'd be part of Texas folklore. Happy 60th Birthday. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". If you are too, check out this massive guide to250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, plus: TheLonely Planet Texasguidebook. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. But what the hell? 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Birthday Friends Husband Birthday Birthday Wishes Happy Birthday Sister Funny 60th Birthday 50th Birthday 50 Year Old Birthday Love Belated Birthday Thank You These funny 60th birthday quotes will give any birthday guy or gal a good giggle on their special day. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. #1. If your favorite 60-year-old has a good sense of humor, teasing them a little (in good fun) is okay. ". If youre headed to Texas, check out my guide to visiting the San Antonio Missions,the Houston Space Center, and Mustang Island. Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Don't mess with Texas. A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. for that talkative friend. "Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me a lot of myself from one fabulous chick to another!". The best land & best prospects for health I ever saw is here, and I do believe it is a fortune to any man to come here. May the Lord strengthened every crooked path, make every rough part in your life smooth, and exalt every valley that may be in your life (Luke 3:5). "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". What do they tell us about America? (For people without US cell phone plans). Texans think big. Phil Gramm, Texas women are like snowflakes. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. It is time to party! At Texas Swingers Clubs, the Lifestyle Is Booming, My Brothers Ashes, the Bayou, and an Enigmatic Life, What Is Left to Say About Waco? Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. 50 Fabulous Things to Do in Washington State: Bucket List & Beyond! Just popped in to make sure that you have a blast on your birthday. Read Next:250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Half of San Antonios population is of Mexican descent; the other half just eats that way. Mike Greenberg, If you really want to learn the attitude of how to handle risk, losing, and failure, go to San Antonio and visit the Alamo. Unknown Author. Dan Rather 0 Copy To me, it's really the heart of Texas. A version of this article appears in our 2019. Read these posts. "I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world." - Tommy Tune. Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes Top Nashville Sayings for Instagram. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Bday.'. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. Here are some of the uniquely Texan sayings not for the faint at heart! It moves into you. Robb Walsh. "Texas is a state of mind. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan, comedian "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. I thought it was a joke. "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." William Barclay Purpose "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody." George Burns (at 100 years) Respect "You were born an original. Buzzard bait.He gave up his guitar for a harp.He ate a bitter pill. 3. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog unwelcome. -Travels with Charley, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. -Sam Houston, Im from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because theres no one in control. 1. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. Texas is Texas. I hope this year's aliens are friendlier. -Philip Sheridan, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. "Birthdays are good for you. When: March 4-5. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. 12 Must-Stay Cabins in Texas for your next trip, 18 Amazing Day Trips from Amarillo, Texas. Happy 70th birthday! Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. when youre very mad. Base Skill Analysis. I love you so much, honey. 3. Discover and share Texas Birthday Quotes. Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say Howdy? I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. "Moscow mules and sweet tea.". These funny birthday quotes will put a smile on your face. -George Strait, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. -Kelly Clarkson, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. ~Anon, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. ~Edward Smith, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. When you've been there and done that, this is the Texas saying you'd use. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. honest. -Robert Kiyosaki, I was always proud of being from Texas and, you know, maybe that was part of fearlessness. -Mike Blakely, Most Americans can cover their home state in less than a week. Above all, Texasis a nation in every sense of the word. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. 9. The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get . One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Texas history for $200, Alex. Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.A worm is the only animal that cant fall down.Never sign nothing by neon.Just because a chicken has wings dont mean it can fly.Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased.You cant get lard unless you boil the hog.If you cut your own firewood, itll warm you twice.Theres more than one way to break a dog from sucking eggs.Give me the bacon without the sizzle.Dont hang your wash on someone elses line.Do Gods will, whatever the hell it may be.Lick that calf again? Otherwise, I wish you a very happy day, darling. Don't die a copy." John Mason "You are. Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Youll also want to use these fabulous Texas puns!
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